The idea for this blog came from one of brides who is a little concerned that her
Mother-in-law is saying that all the rage in Merivale is clothing coloured white and cream.
I remember picking up when I was much younger that you never wear white to a wedding. I also knew that you should never wear black as you keep that for funerals. Today, however, some weddings are all black. I think there are less all black weddings as a rule. There was a period of time and every second wedding had most guests wearing black. Black will always be acceptable as many people wear that beautiful little black dress. So can we agree it is ok to wear black to a wedding?
On the other hand wearing white or shades of white? (Includes Ivory, Cream and Champagne as well). Is that ok or not? I think not. And it would seem I am not the only one who thinks along those lines. There are so many beautiful colours of dresses and the shops are full of them. Why would you feel you need to wear a colour that competes with the bride?
Through my extensive research, I have found that it is generally accepted that the only person to wear a white dress in our society is still the bride. I don’t think people would say anything to the guest who wears white, but behind your back, I would think there would be much said about how inappropriate the person’s choice of clothing had been.
Then there was Jo Cameron, a Canterbury Bride who stated, I quote “It never really bothered me to be honest. I think guests should wear what they like. The actual bride is the one at the end of the alter, not the guests in white lol! I think people are a little bit precious about this whole subject. I had people in pretty white sundresses at my wedding none of them had a gown on like me. I don't see a problem with it.” This comment was generated on a question I placed on Facebook and people liked this comment, so that is a question, are we being precious about it? Jo got married in a church I am picking so that might be a little different to a more relaxed garden wedding?
Why does the bride need to wear white? I didn’t wear white myself fourteen years ago, but that is another story! Whose day is it? Ask yourself that and you will know it is the bride’s day. As such the bride should get to stand out on her wedding day. Wearing white makes her stand out and have you ever observed that a groom wearing white also stands out. It takes an understanding woman to let her dearly beloved also wear white. The bride wants to stand apart and yes should be the only one wearing white. There I have stated it clearly. THE ONLY PERSON TO WHERE WHITE IS THE BRIDE.
So it is only fair that I talk a little about the bride who chooses not to wear white. I chose my favourite colour. My husband proposed when we were only holiday in Phuket. Accordingly, I went and purchased some brightly coloured silk in a number of colours, including my favourite, purple. I never ever thought I would be getting married in white at the time. Many brides want to wear white and accentuate their dresses with black or red in the main. Sometimes other colours. There is no rule that says a bride must wear white, ivory or cream or champagne. The colour of my car strangely enough! The bride can wear whatever colour she wants and feels good in.
Having said all that, I still don’t think you would want to wear white and risk being known as the guest who tried to upstage the bride. I know that would not be your intention but it may be the perception of some. Possibly the older generation would have strong feelings on the subject.
One of the exceptions would be where the couple invited you to the guests to wear black and white. There again it is two colours and it does not mean you wear just white. So there you go are we clear? Yes the only person who wears white, cream or ivory to a wedding is the BRIDE. (As the Celebrant I wore black and white to this wedding as well. I know the couple were disappointed not all guests went with their colour theme).
So I was happy with my blog and then along comes another Canterbury bride, Nicole Lawson. She tells me that as a bride she will be too excited to see her husband-to-be to care. Adding she wants to enjoy the day and won’t sweat the small stuff. Great attitude. It would seem that some of our Canterbury brides are chilled out and believe that you spend far too much time organising the day to be worried about what people wear, or others stealing the lime light. Jo Cameron said “If you're a happy and relaxed bride, that's what your guests remember and you have a happy and relaxed day!”
I agree and the hope is that all brides are happy and relaxed and have the best day ever. Just a thought, perhaps it’s because the guests known not to wear white and don’t wear white that gives the bride the freedom of being relaxed.
OK to finish on this topic I will let a photographer and who has been in the industry for many years, give us his point of view. Garry Walls says “From a male point of view, I don't think it's an issue. From a photographer’s point of view, I see it all the time and again, it's not an issue. In fact it can look very nice and at the end of the day it is about individuals wearing clothes that suit them surely.”
Ha-ha, I couldn’t stop myself having the last word. As a Celebrant, I am focussed on the bride and groom whom I am to marry, it doesn’t worry me what guests are wearing, unless it worries my couple. The day is about the couple and what they want, whatever that may be! And why did I blog this topic? Thats right because one of my brides was concerned.
Image provided by Garry Walls.